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Poem for New Puppy Owners

Don't smell crotches, don't eat plants,
Don't steal food or underpants.
Don't eat my socks, don't grab my hair ...
DON'T RIP THE STUFFING FROM THAT CHAIR!!

Don't eat those peas, don't touch that bush,
Don't chew my shoes - what IS this mush?!?!
Outta the toilet! Outta the trash!! ...
AWAY FROM THE LITTER BOX, IT'S FOR THE CAT!!
(and must you kiss me after that?!)

Raising a puppy is not for the lazy,
Those rugrats are funny but also quite crazy.
Don't despair through the toil and the strife,
Cause after three years you'll get back your life!

So let's go for walkies so you can do your thing ...
And MAYBE I'll get back my good diamond ring!

- Author unknown